nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
