they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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