Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
