his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
