So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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