Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize