How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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