we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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