I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
