Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
