We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
