and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
even my farts smell like vagina
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
