i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize