apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
