I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
