Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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