Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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