I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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