I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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