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• (510): View more from California

  The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Atleast he is letting you know he will be late

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I take it you're alive?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  as a side note pls kill me

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