To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
