should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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