I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
