The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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