who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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