If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Someone signed my nipple.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
