Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize