JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
stop calling my apartment porn island.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
