if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
