party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
