I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
