I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
