Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
