How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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