Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
