The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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