The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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