What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
