Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
