Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
