Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
