she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize