sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
