where am i from again
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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