you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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