She's JV to your varsity
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
