are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
