I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
