I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
