I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
