You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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