I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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