Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize