Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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