Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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