The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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