PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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