She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
