I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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