coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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