i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
