im drinking this country out of the recession.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
