He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
