Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
