Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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