i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
These tits shall not be calmed
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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