I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
