No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
