I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
this must be what syphilis tastes like
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
