none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
