You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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